STEPHANIE HADDAD
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Managing Stress for Work-At-Home Parents

6/28/2017

1 Comment

 
Now, I’m not trying to ostracize anyone here, but I’m going to make a bold statement: Being a work-at-home parent is a tough gig. You've got all the perks and all the drawbacks of being a stay-at-home parent AND a working parent. It's tough to remember to come up for air sometimes. Here's the way I see it...
  • Stay-at-home parents have it tough. They’re up to their eyeballs in kid stuff all day, forced to watch PBS and know all the theme songs, and operate a small-scale taxi service for their kids… Finding little time to breathe, relax, and paint their fingernails like they used to do, you know, just for fun.
  • Working parents also have it tough. They’re part-time moms or dads, part-time workers because no matter where they are, their brains are wherever they aren’t. There’s also some guilt involved, about being away from the kiddos and sending them to stay with someone else for the day. It’s tough to say goodbye every morning, but exhausting to come home at night and be “on” as a parent.
  • Work-at-home parents… Well. This is the one I know only too well. In fact, I've never been any other kind of parent. And frankly, it's sometimes like getting punched in the face. Because, well, you’ve got the stress that comes with being at home all day plus the stress of working (and the guilt). On top of that, your entire work schedule must fit AROUND all your kids’ schedules. When I joke that I’m a writer by nap-time, I’m not kidding.

It doesn't matter what your work life looks like, though, because any kind of parenting has plenty of stress attached to it. There’s nothing easy about it at all. Despite all the exhausting challenges, though, I don’t think I’d have it any other way. My work-at-home lifestyle is best for me for many different reasons, but it does come with a price: incredible amounts of stress. Plus, related stress headaches, stress-induced binge eating, long nights and early mornings with little sleep, and the like. It ain’t pretty.

But for moms like me, who have to work for extra income but still can’t afford daycare, how can it all be done? I’m still working out the details myself, but here are some of the little tips I’ve picked up along the way in my nearly 8 years of writing and momming at the same time.

#1 – Schedule Your Time
Admittedly, I can’t always stick to my plans but I make them anyway and then I try my damnedest to make them happen. When you know that you are going to work from 1-3 pm today, you can spend the morning focused on your kids, running your errands, or taking care of odds and ends around the house. Plus, when that scheduled time rolls around, and you’ve trained yourself to respect it, you can flip modes easily and get right into your work.

#2 – Take Some Time
As tempting as it is for me to start power-writing as soon as the kids’ heads hit their pillows, I have to take some time off once in a while. Everyone else gets downtime; so why would work-at-home parents deserve any less? I like to make Tuesday my “Sunday” as my husband says. It’s a day without deadlines that I can relax and recoup; it’s the perfect way to get ready to start off a new week of work.

#3 – Have Family Time
You can’t live your life in black and white: when the kids are awake and when they aren’t. When your kids are awake, it’s not just “other task” time, it should be an opportunity to enjoy your growing family and get down on the floor to color, play blocks, or make the noises for the train. I can’t do it every week, but I also try to go out on one of my husband’s kid adventures with the whole family. And what’s even better more important is that I won’t allow myself to think about work while I'm there.

#4 – Take Time to Organize

Back in the day, I just wrote until my hands hurt and sometimes I forgot to pay bills or send emails or other important things. Now, I have a sacred bullet journal that holds all my secrets… my calendar and to-do list and more. I write everything in organized little lists and keep a section devoted to each week’s workload. As I take care of things or complete writing assignments, I cross them off. It’s a simple idea but one that pays huge dividends when you’re juggling so many things.

#5 – Find Meditation Time

If you want real stress relief (not just stress minimization), the key is meditation. Keeping yourself centered through mindful meditation practices of at least 5 minutes each day can do much for your brain and body. Stress is reduced, clarity can be reached, and everything gets reset mentally. It’s like getting a fresh look at your day to day life through a sharper, cleaner lens. Don’t procrastinate this; start making time now and you won’t regret it.

What other tactics do you enjoy to help you minimize or eliminate stress from your busy life? All parents can benefit from the techniques mentioned above and I’m sure you can help me come up with more that I haven’t thought of yet!

1 Comment
OWO Virginia link
2/12/2021 10:44:15 pm

This was lovely to reead

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    Stephanie Haddad is the author of five romance and women's fiction titles.

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